Commerce

How To Leave Your Yacht Out Of A TechCrunch Story

Having your yacht mentioned in a TechCrunch article can be alarming. Follow a few simple guidelines, and maybe you can avoid this.

Search Engine Land on March 31, 2011 at 8:08 pm

Having your yacht mentioned in a TechCrunch article can be alarming. Follow a few simple guidelines, and maybe you can avoid this.

Instructions things you'll need: * Yacht * Guests * TechCrunch * Story 1. * 1 Avoid inviting people who will talk about being on your yacht. Do they tweet? Do they have friends? These are some warning signs. * 2 Invite TechCrunch writers. If they've been on your yacht, they may feel special and not write about it. * 3 Don't invite TechCrunch writers. Once they see your yacht, they'll probably feel they should write about it. It's a yacht, after all. * 4 Enable a cone of silence. If you don't have one, as they haven't been invented, tell visitors to your yacht that you're beta testing one from a new company called "Cone" that has received $40 million in investment. They might believe it and not talk about your yacht. * 5 Have two yachts. That way, if someone does talk about your yacht, there will be confusion about which one. * 6 Avoid actually owning the yacht. Surely you can establish a shell company that sails your yacht to exotic destinations like Moffett Filed for you? * 7 Sink the yacht, so there's no proof it exists. Incorporate the sinking into a magic act, if possible. * 8 Invite Arianna on your yacht. * 9 Invite Tim on your yacht. * 10 Offer to cut Mike's three year sentence to a year and a half. * 11 Threaten that the TechCrunch writer will suffer mysteriously if they write about your yacht. If they ask for details, merely say "Engadget" and nod in a knowing manner.

Opinions expressed in this article are those of the guest author and not necessarily Search Engine Land. Staff authors are listed here.

New on Search Engine Land

Staying virtual; Wednesday’s daily brief

Google rolls out ticket booking links, ‘Things to do’ ads and an eco-certified badge for hotels

Mozilla tests Bing as the default search engine for 1% of users; Tuesday’s daily brief

SEOs experiencing delays in data on Search Console performance reports

Overcome today’s search marketing challenges with actionable tactics at SMX

About The Author

Search Engine Land

Search Engine Land is a daily publication and information site covering search engine industry news, plus SEO, PPC and search engine marketing tips, tactics and strategies. Special content features, site announcements, notices about our SMX events, and occasional sponsor messages are posted by Search Engine Land.

How To Leave Your Yacht Out Of A TechCrunch Story

Having your yacht mentioned in a TechCrunch article can be alarming. Follow a few simple guidelines, and maybe you can avoid this.

New on Search Engine Land

Staying virtual; Wednesday’s daily brief

Google rolls out ticket booking links, ‘Things to do’ ads and an eco-certified badge for hotels

Mozilla tests Bing as the default search engine for 1% of users; Tuesday’s daily brief

SEOs experiencing delays in data on Search Console performance reports

Overcome today’s search marketing challenges with actionable tactics at SMX

About The Author

Related Topics