Consumer

How To Leave Your Yacht Out Of A TechCrunch Story

Search Engine Land on March 31, 2011 at 8:08 pm

Having your yacht mentioned in a TechCrunch article can be alarming. Follow a few simple guidelines, and maybe you can avoid this.

Instructions things you'll need: * Yacht * Guests * TechCrunch * Story 1. * 1 Avoid inviting people who will talk about being on your yacht. Do they tweet? Do they have friends? These are some warning signs. * 2 Invite TechCrunch writers. If they've been on your yacht, they may feel special and not write about it. * 3 Don't invite TechCrunch writers. Once they see your yacht, they'll probably feel they should write about it. It's a yacht, after all. * 4 Enable a cone of silence. If you don't have one, as they haven't been invented, tell visitors to your yacht that you're beta testing one from a new company called "Cone" that has received $40 million in investment. They might believe it and not talk about your yacht. * 5 Have two yachts. That way, if someone does talk about your yacht, there will be confusion about which one. * 6 Avoid actually owning the yacht. Surely you can establish a shell company that sails your yacht to exotic destinations like Moffett Filed for you? * 7 Sink the yacht, so there's no proof it exists. Incorporate the sinking into a magic act, if possible. * 8 Invite Arianna on your yacht. * 9 Invite Tim on your yacht. * 10 Offer to cut Mike's three year sentence to a year and a half. * 11 Threaten that the TechCrunch writer will suffer mysteriously if they write about your yacht. If they ask for details, merely say "Engadget" and nod in a knowing manner.

Some opinions expressed in this article may be those of a guest author and not necessarily Search Engine Land. Staff authors are listed here.

About The Author

Search Engine Land

Search Engine Land is a daily publication and information site covering search engine industry news, plus SEO, PPC and search engine marketing tips, tactics and strategies. Special content features, site announcements, notices about our SMX events, and occasional sponsor messages are posted by Search Engine Land.

We're listening.

Have something to say about this article? Share it with us on Facebook, Twitter or our LinkedIn Group.

Search Engine Land

First Click Free is over

Google replacing it with 'Flexible Sampling'

Dynamic Search Ads

Bing rolling them out to US and UK

Events

Attend Search Engine Land’s conferences

How To Leave Your Yacht Out Of A TechCrunch Story

About The Author

We're listening.

How To Leave Your Yacht Out Of A TechCrunch Story

About The Author

Popular Stories

Related Topics

We're listening.